RAYANNA WILL YOU GIVE ME A LOAN AND LET ME MAKE YOU RICH?
I need a startup loan of either 500 or 1,000 dollars to get Stock One going on Monday instead of Friday of next week. Here's a breakdown of what the money will help me do below. 500 -Help me pay David to finish the website today instead of Wednesday. -Pay Thomas to advertise it and get customers to sign up so we can have our grand opening on Monday, instead of Friday. 1,000 -Help me pay David to finish the website today instead of Wednesday. -Pay Thomas to advertise it and get customers to sign up so we can have our grand opening on Monday, instead of Friday. -Pay Don Hughart at Fortune magazine and Greg Landon at Business Weekly to do articles on it to spread it's fame across America and get customers interested. Then we will be making millions. If you pay me 500 I will pay you back on the 1st of next month when I get paid. If you pay me 1,000 dollars I will not only pay you back the 1,000 dollars with interest over the course of the next 2 months but I will put you down as a payee for Stock One and you will make 2 % of the profits weekly for the rest of your life, making you filthy rich. Stock One stocks will make 10 million dollars a year so that's about 2.3 million that you will be making a year. You can easily retire on that and buy a house in any suburb you like, away from noisy society. If you want to you can take your money in one huge lump sum at the end of the year. That's a 2.3 million dollar payday every year. Please respond. Will you please say yes? WOW!

Are you sure you will be able to pay back the money, Sprite?

1 million % positive. Why do you ask? Are you willing to loan me the money? Please respond.