t
so you took some drugs, but your good now. Your wife left you. But what else is what makes you want to do what is required. Since life is short anyways, why not just wait it out?

Well because I have no money and no family and no career. My friend called me from Colorado and he is a doctor that lost his license for insurance fraud. A really nice guy. And he has this business contracting to companies like hospitals and banks and businesses selling them plants and maintaining the plants. He does very well. He wants me to live at his house and teach me the business so I could do it myself. Like pay me a bit and learn. But I dunno. I feel so sick and I am so sad. But he is a very nice person.

t
I spoke with my friend peter today. I told him about you. he was saying what kind of name is lobsang? well anyways, He said that suicide is not the answer, only the answer if you are terminally ill and are a vegetable in pain. He said, whatever doesn't kill you will just make you stronger. And he himself had 2 fiancee's that both died in car accidents. He was suicidal for many years. But he moved on as time went on. Now he enjoys trips to tijauna. And so since your friend is willing to offer you the job, you will be making money again. So your finances can get back on track. You have the forum. And you are helping people. So it's a new start!! You just don't have your wife, but just be happy that she is happy and alive. You can make a new start with the business and come out stronger like peter says.