I WISH ALEX COULD INVENT A TIME TRAVEL DEVICE

r
In my opinion, growing mature, settling down and having kids while getting fat and old is not exciting at all. What's so exciting about having a 9 to 5 just to come home and maybe see your kids at dinner and then have wine and hit the sac. What is there to look forward to? your grand kids graduation? Cmon! Cmon! Hey yes, mentaly I will always be that kid. Always. did you read about my physical problem i have been posting? that makes me feel 40 or 50. But I don't understand how young people say, oh it's ok. I don't want to be young forever. I want to get old and die. Why get old? Or why want to? Oh i know! cuz it's a natural part of life and you need to embrace it, celebrate it, charish it, age is knowledge and wiseness. You are just growing younger! What kind of crap is that? That's just wishful thinking! I never want to be the typical 45 year old dad who has that beer belly and sits in his sandals on his porch reading the newspaper. And then the only exciting time is maybe watchin his kid play soccer. It's just not the same as being young, and having the mindset of I'm going to be famous one day! Or I'm going to be a moviestar! Or I'm going to do this or that! You see? maybe i am just naturally a very ambitious thinker or dreamer. But I would never want to dream of being an old middle age or old man who doesn't have any ambiton and is just settled with what he has forever. it's better to be a kid and have unlimited physical and mental energy with enthusiasm and ambition. I want to have the enthusiasm of an 8 year old forever. When I was 18, i also thought i was old. Maybe I need to change my mindset and quit worrying that the clock is ticking.

j
Jaguar, the world is not quite as new anymore. I remember the first time i went to the stripclub in the ghetto in sf. It was amazing experience! Me and my friend Sabo, we were smokin weed listening to our favorite underground rap, and we were so excited to go to stripclub for the first time. It was this special feeling. We got attatched to the tenderloin district. The whole ghetto area. Just passing by the nude clubs, mitchell brothers, Just watchin the transexual hookers walk around, seeing the massage parlors, talkin to the homeless bums, seeing the crack dealers, goin in the porno shops, it was fascinating because we never had seen anything like this. We would say to each other "Oh my god! I'm going to pee in my pants! I'm not ready for this!" And we would be so nervous to go inside the stripclub for the first whole month. It was just so different than goin to highschool and seeing regular people. We were young. And we were seeing it for the first time. And it was so special. I can't explain it. You remember that song, I like the way you move by outkast? Songs like that just came out at the same time that we would drive in my car to the club. We would play that music, smoke the weed, then park in the upper lot by the club which we called "home." Gosh! I miss those days! I really do! I miss goin inside a club and being nervous and not knowing what a stripclub is all about. And acting like a goofball and actually think that these girls that I was cool. I still go to other stripclubs in sf with peter and alex. But not that one so much. Different girls, not good anymore. I miss the old girls. And going out to stripclubs is just like an almost every other day thing now to relax. It's not fascintating no more. gosh, i miss those days. I really really do. And most of all, I miss tarah. I knew her for 3 years and one day I got very mad at her and I never saw her again and it's been 2 years. I always think of her. Do you understand? I want to go back in time and relive all of this. I want to back, relive it and do things a little differently and would have made better decisions. But I can't! It' just not fair that i had to get OLD. I miss my youth!

You have it really good SacJB. As far as I can tell, you do nothing and you have enough money to survive and you live in one of the richest parts of the world which is California and the Bay Area That's a lot better than the Horn of Africa or Eastern Europe, so stop complaining I think one of your problems is that you are too extroverted, which means you go out a lot and you're exposed to lots of external impressions, but your own mind and your private self are not very well organized and taken care of

t
yah, your right actually. I make money by selling alex's rings and live in the sf bay area! and i complain about not being able to go to the stripclub for the first time ever again! But i really do feel bad about being 23 and can't say that i graduated college when lots of people can say that. so, i just feel a little left out. Why do you think I want that moment back? goin to new century club for first time? I get obsessive about it. I always remember all the music they would play, i remember all the details. And I can't get over it. Have you read about my physical problem? any suggestions?

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