I think we need to discuss my death more.
I am just trying to resolve how it will happen? I mean jumping off a bridge into traffic? Just dying from heart or diabetes problems? Why is this so hard when a person Knows they should not be here? And why should a person live? I mean what is the reason for living? I mean I will be a leech on society because if I get very sick the state will have to pay for it. Because health insurance does not pay for pre existing conditions that I have. And then also I have nobody that cares about me. I mean I do have a couple of relatives but those families hate my guts I can tell. And so if I get sick I have nobody that really cares I will be alone. Maybe I could go to a bad black neighborhood and yell "Nig@er". I also do not like the idea of my body in a morgue I mean all cold and being drained of blood. And I do not like thinking about being cremated. I am more comfortable dying in the deep forest and not being found. But what is required must happen.

you are still thinking how you have to die, i think you don't want to die, you want attention , you have to do 2 things, kill yourself, or stop crying like a spoiled kid. You are starting to be annoying , you faked your suicide just to see the reaction on this fourm, this is a strong indication that you are bored , and want to be 'saved' from someone. You won't find anyone here willing to save you, maybe, according to the people here, your only way is to show off some money

and then say I am the childish one!