I rewrote the Gorgeouspil page 2 make it more understandablehttp://www.alexchiu.com/eternallife/gorgeouspil.htm
Tell me what you think. Is it more understandable now? Does it make sense to you?
Well this statement:
After taking Gorgeouspil, your face will slowly reform itself. Your face will gradually become prettier and more symmetrical each day. Then it opens up the chi channel which flows into your eyes. Then your eyes will become prettier.
By saying WILL instead of ''COULD'', you are actually saying that GP will definately change your appearence, so you are 100% sure GP
works for everyone and ''WILL'' work or money back ?
Im telling you. You people should believe me. I look so gorgeous now I swear just a few more healings I can compete with Brad Pitt. Im serious. That's why you see Sierra all looking for me and stuff. Usually a beautiful dancer like Sierra will never ever go online and look for some customer, especially she just got married. And the guy she looked for is Chinese? What's the chance of that?
Without Gorgeouspil, Im just another Chinaman with glasses. And a beautiful white girl like her will NEVER EVER notice me.
I am 100% sure! It works for everyone, as long as you're human. Just like food will fill you up, as long as you're human. Just like motor oil will decrease friction in engine. 100% sure.
Your unwavering certainty is part of what makes this whole thing a lot more interesting and a lot more complicated Alex...
I used to do this on the side, for a living, website copywriting. I'm a freelance writer so I've got a few simple suggestions - your pic on your website looks nowhere near as attractive as you do nowadays, I have to admit. Why that is, I'm not sure. Anyway, why not put a more attractive pic of you up, or better yet, the Inventor's before and after, right at the top of the page?
Is there any chance a new viewer will come to the gorgeous pill page before any other part of your site? If so you need to explain what the rings are or at least provide an in-text link to a part of your site that does.
As for the page as a whole, it's much better now. It has a better flow and is you at perhaps the most rational I've ever seen you haha. I like it, it's claims are founded in the concept of chi which many people already believe, and it takes you through the principles step by step.
You should really add your most recent photo on the page or before and after as DrSchadenfreude mentioned..
The pictures of that girl (forgot her name) really dont show a clear before and after, seems like a VAMPIRE site, not a good idea the Halloween pic..
Yeah, throw away that marylin manson like pics (how did you even thought to put them on?) an use instead fieryblueaura's or a new photo of yourself.
Anyway the page is ok, but next page (for more information..") is too optimistic, basically it says every one become supermodel in 2 weeks with gorgeouspil..no true!
Yeah the girl with blood all over her face gives a bad impression and yet I'm not advocating Alex get rid of her....she is, after all, still very hawt. Does he have any before/after pics that really compete?
I think the girl's picture actually works very well. I remember ever since I had her pictures up there more people ordered. I think the halloween thing really doesn't bother people because I wrote on top of her photo "Picture taken on Halloween." This shows I am quite honest. I hope the new description will bring more business.
That photo makes gorgeouspil seem a killbill-pill.